KARMA……….MYSTERIOUS KARMA (Short Story)

                                                            -Tashi Dorji

Karma's having tough time trying to remember faces, details and memories of person and things that he felt he should know or that is triggering his mind to try remembering. Everyone he sees is new and alien to him. He was introvert since his childhood days and he found it hard being social, hanging out and getting along with others. Whenever he goes in gathering he would remain seated at corner battling within himself for being boring and jerk. He would envy when he sees others life going colorfully especially socially since he has life aloof and lefted out even when in crowd. He deeply self pitied himself for infinite number of times. That disturbing thoughts, remorse and guilt of not being able to step out of comfort zone is making him hard to cope up with his already weak social intetaction and demeanour. The thought that people may brand him as bad person disturbs and takes his peace of mind. Though he secretely and desperstely wanted to change himself, never was it a success. He's trying hard. Prayers are offered and wishes are asked for and he was waiting for the answers. Sometimes due to his ego and arrogant nature blended with absence of patient, he feels frustrated with god for taking so long in answering his prayers. He would feel guilty later on. After all God was what he would embrace and cherish in times of loneliness, boredom and emotional carry away stirred by his being introvert and shy and nature of life itself.

Mr. Neten and Mrs. Dema are having same difficult time as Karma in trying to bring their child Karma's memory back. It was not few weeks from Karma's accident in a car. After his accident, as told by doctor and psychiatrist, he was suffering from what is called "retrograde amnesia". Psychiatrist told memory may be revived with time. "Hope and prayers are you can do apart from what doctors can do," was piece of encouragement provided by doctor to Karma's parents, Dema and Neten. Memory may not return was also what doctor should have said but saw no need for it.

At Autsho valley Karma is finding hard to live and place was so unfamiliar to him and his introvert and shy nature intensified his loneliness and apathy. He often felt he should take assistance of liquor and cigarette but he consoled himself not to since it wasn't far from accident day and he needs to endure some more hardship and patience to cure completely, mentally and physically. Mountain locked from all directions, abundant pine tree and the cold harsh winter of Autsho aggravated his isolated and alienated sense. People around never stopped giving him love, care and assistance for improving his health. They console, advise and try to narrate those past instances in order to make him remember people, events and memories. He felt uneasy confronting and meeting new people. He would mostly confine himself in a room.

Neten and Dema had one and only child Karma. They are well to do household. Dema runs bar and Neten is a contractor and Karma was helping his father who had no education background. Karma has B.Com degree obtained from Gedu College of Business Education. It was 3 years after Karma's graduation and into work with dad. Dad's ideas, skills and experiences in addition to Karma's intelligence and theoretical knowledge broadened their wealth and prosperity. Besides, both work sincerely, faithfully, loyally and with passion. However in amidst of those beautiful story, such unpredictable and unexpected tragedy happened. It was also happened when least expected. There wasn't any impact on their business, though. They still keep their bar opened and dad goes to contract work as they logically understood Karma will anyway need to be at home and that's where mom stays, 24*7 unless there are emergency and urgency that would compel her to move. Their son Karma's childhood friends till their way to graduation, Dorji also comes and helps Karma. Dorji's parents run shop at Autsho. Dorji didn't qualify RCSC exam even after trying for two consecutive times. He took break before third time till he feels he's ready to give. But that one chance is his last chance and fate to decide weather he will work in private or government job. He can participate in being Member of Parliament and local governance post nevertheless but there never is guarantee to win. Karma's ten years old back girl friend Phuntsho Choden is also back to Autsho as a teacher of Autsho Middle Secondary School. Her dad is an engineer in D.O.R. She was born at Autsho and at age 15 her dad was transferred to Chang Gedaphu, Thimphu. He still lives there. It was at Thimphu she met another Karma who had same twin like looks and apoearance as Karma of Autsho. Karma of Thimphu met with accident in same place Karma of Autsho encountered accident, somewhere at Tang, Bumthang. Karma of Thimphu was going on tour as an agriculture officer. He wants to research on double cultivation of paddy a year at Odzorong for fortnight. Karma of Autsho was heading to Thimphu to participate in tender for building Wambur Higher Secondary School, Wambur, Lhuntse conducted by MOE.

After accident Karma of Thimphu was picked up from a base area where accident took place. Neten mistakingly took Karma of Thimphu for his own blood and son Karma of Autsho. Karma of Thimphu was struck in-between trunks of two small trees and was pulled out by search team, police of Bumthang. He was unconscious and bloody. There were hits, cut and abrasion on his head and other body parts. Karma of Autsho was also at base of area but police force couldn't find him out. They searched everywhere in and around a place of accident. He wasn't unconscious but mentally insane caused by injury he received on his head. He walked till he could reach to one of the houses from two to three kilometres from place of accident. In that house one illeterate, uneducated and isolated old man lives there. He doesn't know world beyond his area. When he saw Karma mad he didn't know to take him to hospital for treatment but kept him at his house. There were three or four neighbours and they are no different to old man, Kala. When Toyota car fell his head received hard hit. He was thrown away from the car but his body parts weren’t injured except his arms. He hurt his arm while trying to hold posture and ensure protection and least harm to his head. Thus he saved his head from direct hit on ground which may prove fatal. He actually walked for help but suddenly he felt the whole world is spinning. There was deep pain inside head and he was holding his head. He felt his brain is bursting and spinning. He got mad when all these happened. He was taken care, sheltered and fed by old Kala. Kala and villagers thought Karma was outcasted and rejected mad boy. Hence they all agreed to keep him there. They never knew he can be treated medically or spiritually or by combination of both. They neither had television and radio to listen to news of lost Karma.

Karma of Thimphu feeling alienated at Autsho was comforted and eased on seeing Phuntsho Choden. At Thimphu, not so long back, he proposed her but she never accepted his proposal for she found him boring due to his introvert, shy and silent nature. Karma of Thimphu was 4 years at Thimphu doing job. Phuntsho was at Thimphu for ten years. She used to live with parents. However after acquiring job she stayed with parents only for 2 years and moved to Motithang from Chang Gedaphu to live all by herself for the sake of reducing the distance that she has to daily travel. She and Karma of Thimphu lived in a same building. When she saw him for the first time she talked to him without any hesitation with smile thinking he was Karma of Autsho, her childhood friend and the boyfriend. He greets her back by pushing and stretching his lips as far as it would go but with doubts in his mind, "Who the hell is this beautiful girl." When she asked him whether he is Karma or not he answered affirmatively. She told, "We are childhood friends of Autsho. Aren't we? And you have grown so big and handsome. It's been really long we haven't seen each other." Since he cherished and captured her overwhelming beauty he couldn't put himself in a position to share the truth. His shy and hesitant nature might have also contributed to holding himself back.

It wasn't a week that Karma of Thimphu and Phuntsho first meet despite living in same building. Karma of Thimphu fell for her on very first sight which kept his eyed unblink for very long time. Yet his diffident nature made him hard to reveal his feelings for her. His same face as Karma was blessing in disguise to have meets and hang out time together.

Karma of Autsho and Phuntsho never contacted after Phuntsho left Autsho to Thimphu, Chang Gedaphu. Phuntsho was shocked to see tremendous change with Karma. She thought he was very active, open, talkative and kind of guy that she would like to hang around with during childhood days at Autsho. She even told Karma of Thimphu once, "you look matured now and you have changed a lot. What changes do you see in me?" Karma of Thimphu wittily replied, "You look same but have grown height wise and beauty wise" which contradicts with his inner thought.  His mind ask him, which he kept to himself, "why the hell would you torture poor guy. When have I seen you before? I wish i have seen you." He wanted to reveal the truth about the real identity of him but accident was faster than right time to reveal.

At Autsho are they to continue friendship they shared at Thimphu? Or due to retrograde amnesia did he forget her? He could recollect and remember few memories of ten years back, 2005. Immediate memories, 2005 and onwards memories are all lost. He was raised by his uncle after his mom left him at the age of 13. His father left him, his sister and mom after divorce. His dad was rich. He paid alimony and maintenance of child's amount in one go (lump sum) in front of judge when court found him liable at mistake. Court found their marriage as irretrievable breakdown of marriage in addition to void and illegal marriage carried on by his with another girl. That girl wasn't last. His mom wasn't first either. But law of land would not allow him to go for 5th one and he is bound to stick to 4th wife or illegally carry on further. In absence of his parents, particularly mom, he found it hard to go on with his life as normally as kids who have either both or single parent(s). Hence shyness, silence and child like mind of him haunted him, even after he earned a job; hangover lasted. He went through torture and hardship being at uncle's home where he and his older sister were seggregated from son and daughter of uncle. However they managed to let them study. Hence two of them looked after them after getting their own jobs despite childhood bitter memories for they considered given opportunity to educate was huge gift they (uncle and aunt) have given. And their good treatment brought remorse to uncle's and aunt's minds. His sister and he studied hard when uncle, HM and government provided huge and precious opportunity. They are given monthly stipend, belongings and articles required at schools organized by ADM and zimpoen. They never wasted resources, care, time, effort and opportunity and they worked their butts off. They graduated successfully and acquired a job of Agriculture officer and HRO.

Phuntsho Choden was shocked to hear about Karma's accident. She hasn't heard at the time of accident for she was at Thimphu then busy discharging formalties of transfer. For her anyway either Karma meant one and the same. She consoled and promised parents of Karma of Autsho to help them for sick Karma. She would narrate story of their childhood stages and nostalgia to which Karma of Thimphu has absolutely no reason under any sort of circumstances to remembee; even with his memory. But he believed he has amnesia and hence forced himself to believe in whatever people, especially close knit ones, say. That was his commitment to himself.

He was delighted when he first saw Phuntsho for he will never remember their recent meet at Thimphu as long as memories are not revived. His natural impulse and heart or her beauty's power made him lost to her on every first sight. There is another opportunity to propose. Phuntsho would sometimes narrate how they have spent time at Thimphu at Motithang and Main town. Karma of Autsho's mom would not say anything to what Phuntsho say even if she found out to be lies because she is preoccupied by notion that she is making every possible steps and ways to bring memories of Karma back. On the other hand Phuntsho's words have truth because she did meet Karma at Thimphu not very long time back and it was those memories at Thimphu he was sharing with Karma at Autsho. But Dema was also so right since she has his son Karma of Autsho at Autsho or somewhere but not at Thimphu. So if judge has to decide on truth of these two persons, i guess, decision will not favour anyone and scale will weigh equal unless identity is clarified.

At first when Karma of Thimphu opened his eyes at hospital he didn't recognize Neten and Dema but gradually he consoled and convinced himself against his real feeling that they are his own parents. His remote memories that he remembers were considered illusion or imagination created by his mind caused by sickness. He kept note of everyone he saw and talks with. With time he got familiar with people of Autsho but his lost memories are never returning and his remote memories were with effort deleted. No incidents, remedies and ideas taken to help him seemed futile. He really wanted to remember everything especially time spent with Phuntsho. Her remaining new to him makes him sad, frustrated and cry. He loved Phuntsho. He wanted to tell her that he loves her but his shy and hesitant nature plus story of rejection at Thimphu narrated to him by Phuntsho were holding him back from vomiting his feelings to her. He was sick by unrequitted love. His nature of shyness and quiteness made him undergo depression treatment. Karma was feeling, "It's like i was born yesterday and i remember nothing at all. God help me please. Take my depression and return my memories back." He started praying to many gods (Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Judaism and Buddhist) after he browsed about god to pass his time. His prayer to get rid of depression was answered after medication and surgery but memories never returned back. He felt comfortable opening up himself, being good, social and happy guy like how real Karma of Autsho was. Neten and Dema were extremely happy and excited to see character of their son returning back. They considered returning of character as memories. People would say, “That’s our real Karma." More days added on, it became a month, months added on and it became a year. He adopted and adapted, with conviction induced in his mind, to environment, people, work, things and past memories of Karma of Autsho. His mental picture created by imagination propelled by people's narration got concretized in his brain. He got closer to people of Autsho and intimate with Phuntsho with years adding on. Phuntsho who didn't accept proposal by Karma of Thimphu at Thimphu now accepted proposal at Autsho and they got married. Personality, character, demeamour and attitue were what Phuntsho loved and it is evident from her accepting proposal after Karma's change. They bore kids. Karma worked with Neten, business prospered and sun of peace, happiness and prosperity returned and shone back to family.

On the other end of the world uninterrupted misery continued. The real Karma of Autsho remained lost in the name of Karma of Thimphu. Sister and relatives did funeral rituals and everything that needed to be done in the name of Karma of Thimphu who in fact is existing at Autsho. They cried, grieved and missed him tenderly. They blamed themselves and his and their fate. They would say, “He has sad story in childhoof days and didn't even have a chance to experience happy story after start." Positive prayers and varieties of wholesum acts performed in his name by sister, friends, and relatives of Karma of Thimphu multiplied happiness, prosperity, popularity and well being of Karma, Phuntsho, kids, Neten and Dema at Autsho. Karma of Autsho remained insane with old chap, Kala. There were no signs of his improvement. His life which is as precious as gold and his primary goal of life to practice Dharma at age of 55 went as total waste.  

TASHI DROJI

Email id: tashinetndorji@gmail.com